We all feel differently.

When I think back to all the different classes and class discussions I had this week, one learning experience really comes to my mind. It was the day in class when we focused on reflexivity. This term focuses on the relationship between the music therapist and the client. From my understanding, reflexivity is being aware of one's self as a therapist and also being aware of the client. It is also important to be able to figure out what is the best action to do in that moment that will be helpful to the client.

During this particular class, we were asked to volunteer to participate in a learning exercise. I decided to volunteer and I was excited to see how things were going to play out. Four people, including me, walked to the front of the classroom and positioned ourselves in a circle. We were given the instructions to make percussive sounds using our body. We also were given instructions to listen and be aware of ourselves and then bring ourselves to being aware of the people around us. Two people, Connor and Katie, started some beats and interesting sounds and then I layered another sound and another student, Casey, added one more sound. For me, it was a little nerve wracking trying to focus on myself when there were multiple sounds and rhythms happening around me. I would find myself forgetting that I was making a sound. Once I was able to be aware of myself, it was hard to be aware of others at the same time. I found the best feeling was when I just didn't think too hard of either and simply be in the moment, and that's when I started to get the feeling that we were all one as a group.

After the exercise, we all discussed our individual experiences in the exercise. What was interesting to me was that Casey said that she noticed the "groove" the whole group had and that it didn't feel like there was a leader. Connor differed and said that it was hard trying to figure out who was leading the group. That was the moment that I realized that people do not feel, think, and experience the same thing. Of course, I have always known this and I have said multiple times that a person can never truly understand what another person is going through because they are not that person, but sometimes I can have a feeling so strongly that I think that everyone else MUST be feeling the same thing!

After this realization, it made me think about music therapy. I thought about how I sometimes struggle with being able to balance my awareness of myself and the clients in the session. It also made me think about how I should never assume how a client is feeling. Not only am I going to apply it to music therapy, but it will help me in my everyday life as well. I'm very glad we had that exercise in class that day because it was very helpful for me.

Emily