Relationship

The most significant experience I had in Bonn was the one that I mentioned in our last group discussion, the improvisation session with one client in particular. It was significant from beginning to end, and it was unexpectedly very moving for me while I observed the interaction between client and therapist. Not knowing the language, I relied on body language and facial expressions. I could see the care that my music therapist had for his clients, including in this session. I could see that the client was struggling that day. She did not seem uninterested in being there, but she did seem disconnected (which could have been due to medications). Regardless of what she may have been feeling, she chose to play the piano during the improvisation and it was beautiful. I felt what she was communicating through the music. I developed a sensitivity to the client, despite the fact that I did not know her, which was a different experience for me. She left the session with a slight smile on her face. I learned that I really valued the client-therapist relationship, and although I will be interning at a general hospital starting this fall, I hope to have the opportunity to develop this kind of relationship that with my clients.
I learned a lot about myself through that music therapy experience. During the session, I actually became a little emotionally overwhelmed thinking about this client's personal situation, along with the emotions of the music. Something that I hope to gain a better understanding of in the future is having empathy for a client, but not allowing the emotions of a situation to limit my ability to help. Overall, I saw how special the client-therapist relationship is to me and I hope to create those experiences with my future clients.

Reflecting on an Amazing Trip

            Now that I’ve been back home for over a week, I have been able to reflect on all of my experiences in Germany.  Each day on the trip was packed with so many learning experiences about music therapy and also about myself.  This past week I have thought a lot about how my knowledge and perspectives on music therapy have grown and evolved because of the opportunities brought about by this life changing trip.  I’ve also realized the amazing impact everyone on the trip has had on me – how their different backgrounds in music therapy have broadened my views; how their love for what we do has inspired me; and how their kind and wonderful selves have enriched my life. 

            It’s hard to believe that just twelve days ago all of us were meeting in Dusseldorf for our last class and last day in Germany together.  During that afternoon, everyone shared what they had learned from observing professional music therapists that week.  My week had been a swirl of new knowledge and some frustration.  The sessions I observed of my music therapist were conducted in German (of course).  While I tried to follow what the therapist and clients were saying by noticing non-verbal cues (such as body language, tone of voice, etc.), I still struggled to have any idea of what was been talked about.  This was especially frustrating because the sessions I observed emphasized talking, with some or little music.  After the first day of this, I thought about how I was going to get through the next few days.  I realized that I might have been a little skeptical of how much talking was being done in the sessions.  Even if it was a different approach than what I was used to, I needed to appreciate this experience and learn as much as I could about this different approach to music therapy.

            After the initial frustration with the language barrier, I learned so much over the next few days.  The structure to the sessions of talk-play-talk allowed the clients to process what they were experiencing in music therapy.  I took part in improvisation activities that were powerful ways for clients to express themselves and connect with others.

            The last week of observation was a very important part of the trip.  It allowed me to connect what we had talked about, discussed, and explored in class during the first three weeks to real life practice and see how professional music therapists in Germany approach music therapy.  There are so many approaches to music therapy – I’ve seen this evidenced from everyone on the trip who came from different universities and I’ve seen this in practice from German music therapists.  It’s one of the many, many wonderful things about our field.  There’s no right approach to music therapy.  It can be used in so many different ways to help so many people.  All of the different perspectives I have seen on this trip have helped me to continue to evolve my own definition of music therapy.

Week 4 and its circumstances

As of today, I have been back in the states for one week, and have spent the week resting and processing this trip. It was a lot but it was delightful and the educational opportunities were myriad. I am glad to be back where I know the language, but I am also so ready to go back. There are so many things to appreciate in Germany.

The final week in the study abroad program proved to be one of endurance and pressure, but I will do my best to give you the reader's digest. Early Monday morning, we leave our apartments in Heidelberg to get to Dusseldorf by that afternoon. We spend a few hours there learning about the creative arts therapies there and the different branches of the clinic where we would be placed. We were all divided up to go to different LVR clinics in different towns outside Dusseldorf. Casey, another student, and I headed out to our clinic about 4:30. The trip wasn't long but once we got to our apartments, that's when things started going downhill.

My room was full of dust and cobwebs. My dishes were dusty. The microwave was on the balcony for some reason. Plus, even though the clinic is titled that it is in Viersen, it is actually in an even smaller town outside it. What put me over the edge in a matter of minutes? NO WIFI. Yup. Now, I know that seems trivial, but I didn't purchase an international data plan so I had no way to contact anyone. Staying here made me shut down and sleeping was difficult and painful because the bed may as well not have been there. The mattress was solid. All of this made it VERY difficult to pull up my bootstraps, so to speak, and get through everyday with a positive attitude.

We met our music therapists on Tuesday and we went with them to a castle with vast gardens to meet an art therapist there for some team bonding. This was great to get comfortable with each other and we got to talk a lot about things outside of music therapy as well. We got to know them as people, not just music therapists.

We had fortunate opportunities to be part of music therapy sessions in acute psychiatric units and the forensics unit at that clinic. We were even able to be in groups in the most secured area of the forensics unit. These people are at their most unstable and dangerous. It was a little nerve-wracking but also amazing. I didn't want to leave. I had a few moments where music really showed itself as a thing to quickly promote a relationship between client and therapist. Johnny Cash was requested so I got to play and sing it, and I could feel the clients relax more because they were pleased and sang along. My favorite part was in the most secured area of the forensics unit. There was a gentleman who came in a couple of different times during our time there and made up his own rap (free-styled) to different instrumental tracks. It was awe-striking to watch this because I watched him go to a place in a his brain and it would just flow out. He made up four full, different raps, and you could feel that it was good for him to get something off his chest and validation for completing something. I didn't see how rap could be beneficial in a music therapy setting, but that proved me wrong. He has a talent and that is his way into music therapy. He even spoke with the music therapist about when he was going to see her again. It was really humbling to watch. This was the only time I observed some form of improvisation in my time at the clinic. Yes, the instrumental track was pre-recorded, but his words come from him in that very moment. The other sessions consisted of sing-alongs to song requests by the clients in the groups. Sometimes, the therapist would select one particular client to make a choice about a song. This pushed the client to connect more to whatever song they chose.

As for me, I learned that I need to be more flexible when it comes to my expectations and then what actually happens or is. I spent the entire week furious about my accommodations, so it was completely draining to put that away long enough to be with the music therapists and the clients to learn something. It was very difficult to not focus on getting back to Dusseldorf. Obviously, I came out the other side alive, and I will be forever grateful to our music therapists there.

Overall, that last week really showed me that reflexivity and flexibility are essential in music therapy and in life. Coping skills require them, along with healthy emotional expression, communication, and the list could continue. Plus, therapy can come from the least expected place, and people can always surprise you.

Rewind

For this post, I wanted to rewind a couple of weeks and go back to our third week on the trip. I have been home for a week, so more and more information has been settling in my brain. This has helped my perspectives shift greatly. Anyway, I digress. 

The third week was wonderful and full of fun!  We only had three days at the SRH due to a holiday, so there was a 4 day weekend! What did you do for those 4 days, Preston? I'll tell ya! I went to Salzburg! The first part of the week was wonderful because I was able to have interviews with 2 students and a professor at the school. This brought a lot of attention and understanding to their music therapy intervention techniques. Being introduced to music therapy interventions and sessions that are primarily based in improvisation woke something up in me. In my education so far at GCSU, I had felt like something was missing, and this has begun to alleviate that feeling. In the interviews, all interviewees discussed the power of musical improvisation and its ability to meet the client on a deeper level in that very moment, as opposed to coming into a session with too much structure or too many expectations. These very things can actually hinder the therapeutic progress and therapeutic relationship. These interviews and last few classes pulled together the first couple of weeks in Heidelberg and put words to experiences. 

As for Salzburg, it was gorgeous. Getting to see multiple locations of where The Sound of Music was filmed and Mozart's birth house and apartment was nothing short of amazing and exciting. Mozart has so much music around him his entire life, and although it was a short one, he had quite the full life. Also, the views in Salzburg are just breath-taking. Everywhere you look, the Alps are in the backgrounds-tall, magnificent, snow-capped. It was a dream just to be there. There is a huge fortress atop a hill there and much of it is still intact. Plus, there is a restaurant there, and eating while looking down on Salzburg and over to the Alps while breathing in mountain air is something you must experience if ever you get the chance. I felt proud to be there. 

I Got This

Over the course of my week at Bedburg-Hau I learned many things about music therapy.  Many were concepts that we had talked about while in Heidelberg but now I got to witness them more rather than just hearing about them or seeing them demonstrated once. One of these concepts was using receptive and active music therapy and utilizing talking about the expirences after each activity/intervention. As a class we talked about this and even saw a demonstration while sitting in a class but I feel like I personally got more out of it seeing it done several times while staying at Bedburg-Hau.  It helped me learn that picking up on your group dynamic is important. There is no strict rule that states that you have to start your sessions with receptive music therapy.  If your clients are not engaged or seem to have a lower energy level, starting with active music therapy may be a better choice. My host music therapist Patric did this in his sessions. He would quickly pick up on the groups dynamic/energy level and would then decide on if receptive or active music therapy would be a better starting choice. It was a nice change seeing it done this way because at my school we learn to do a hello song, some activities that tie into goals/objectives, and then a goodbye song. Here I saw that while with some populations that structure works and may be needed but with others it is unnecessary because it does not fit what the clients need. Going along with receptive and music therapy, I was intrigued when I learned in Heidelberg about how music therapy in Germany heavily utilizes talking about the musical or even non musical expirences after they happen. Where I got to school, we get points taken off if we talk too much in sessions (which can be understandable if the talk is not dealing with the session or about the client and/or their goals/objectives). Here in Germany, half of the session could easily be just talking about the expirences that the client went through during the various interventions of the session. During my week in Bedburg-Hau, I saw a good deal of this. In some of the sessions I sat in, there was more talking then music making and in others there was hardly any talking other than asking the client what song they wanted to sing or how there day was. After learning about this and watching it happen several times, it made more sense to me. If the client needs to talk about something that occurred during a musical experience or something they thought of during the experience, they need to be able to talk about it without the therapist trying to rush through it so they can get to the next intervention. Of course as anything this has its limitations meaning that it should only occur if it benefits the client and their quality of life or it is working towards their goals and objectives.

One thing I learned about myself during this week was that I need to trust myself more.  I often second guess myself or get a great ton of self doubt built up in me.  This often, as you can imagine, becomes self detrimental to what I am doing.  By being by myself or in a small group while watching and participating in sessions, I realized that I do know what I am doing and that I need to trust myself more. During the week one of the therapists, Lene, said that it is important as a therapist to work with populations that suit your personality.  She said that because of her personality being a quieter one, certain populations do not work well for her because she gets more emotional strain and drainage which is not healthy for her.  I realized that this is a piece of advice that I need to listen to more.  This past semester the population I worked with was not a great match with my personality. Due to this, I was not able to give the clients that I worked with what they needed in the best way that would suit them.  I realized that although that was a population that I did not work well with, there were others that I had worked with in the past that were a great match.  I do not want to completely close any doors with whom I may want to work with in the future but I learned that I need to trust myself more and not think of what does not work well with me as a defeat or a failure but rather a blessing because although it may not work, I know what does.

Thank you Germany

The final two weeks in Europe flew by that I often wonder if it was even real. My last week in Heidelberg passed by so quickly, saying goodbye to the faculty of the University of Heidelberg and the students who were so welcoming to us. I met a few of them during a potluck we held at the apartments and was fascinated on their reasons for studying music therapy and traveling to Germany to study.

On Thursday, May 26th, a large group travelled to Salzburg for the long weekend which was a dream come true. There I was exposed to the Alps, a city that was so involved with music, where one of my favorite composers lived hundreds of years ago. I also experienced culture shock in Salzburg when I saw snow for the first time on top of the Alps and felt like a child again with amazement that it was there and yes, it actually exists.

After the long weekend, we returned to Heidelberg and began packing up our things from the apartment for our placements in Dusseldorf.

After experiencing some harsh weather, we arrived in Dusseldorf and were welcomed by professional music therapists with a presentation on the LVR clinics in the area. After the presentation, we saw demonstrations of the creative arts therapies, first with music, dance, and finally art therapy.

Once the demonstrations were over, we all went our separate ways to our placements and I was curious on seeing how similar the sessions would look compared to the mock session from the seminar in the University I saw a week prior.

My first day was rough due to the language barrier between my music therapist and I. She spoke little to no English and I spoke little no German, so it was difficult to communicate with one another or go over what happened in the session. I had to pay attention to everything that happened in the session from the client's inflection and their body movements. Some clients spoke English and translated what was happening or what the music therapist asked them and their response.

Yet, even with this barrier, I still interacted with the clients and my music therapist by participating in the music experiences through singing or playing instruments. I felt a connection to the clients, even though I didn't speak the language, and to my music therapist. It was sad to leave on Thursday but I was happy to have met all the clients and the therapists I had the opportunity to observe.

On my last day, I decided to do something spontaneous and went to four different cities before returning to Dusseldorf at 2 for class. We were late due to some delays with the weather and travels but we made it eventually to class an hour late.

After class, we had our last dinner before we began to go our separate ways.

My time in Germany came to an end on June 4th as I sat in the Frankfurt airport waiting for my flight. It was a bittersweet moment to leave this wonderful country that took me in, taught me so much, and accepted me with open arms. This program was a wonderful experience thanks to the faculty of the University of Heidelberg, the German music therapy students, my peers, and the wonderful Dr. Keith for organizing everything.

Germany has helped me grow as a person, has taught me to laugh more, to be more independent, and that it's ok to be open minded. Learning about music therapy, in the states, the different approaches, and Germany music therapy has helped me realized that there is not one right approach. There are many ideas, many ways to use music therapy for your style and population.

All I could say is Danke Germany for all the memories, for the growth, and hoping to see you soon.

An Entirely Different Experience

The last week of being in Germany was a very different experience when compared to the first three.  On that first day, the train pulled in from the bustle of Düsseldorf to the small train station in Viersen and I immediately felt like I'd gone from 100mph to a leisurely, suburban 25.  Then after about an hour wait, we traveled by bus to an even smaller area, Süchteln.

The first night felt like I was in isolation.  I had a small apartment to myself in a building on the LVR Klinik campus that appeared to be mostly deserted, except for the one other music therapy student, Preston, who had travelled with me and was staying in an apartment a few floors above.  A short walk into "town" proved that Süchteln rolls up it's sidewalks starting around 7:00pm, and that getting wifi anywhere was not going to be possible.  I made it very far into my A Game of Thrones book that night and went to bed early, feeling disappointed at what seemed to be the start to an unexciting week.

However, the next day dawned bright and sunny, which was a wonderful contrast from all the rain we'd been getting the past week.  Since it was a day off for the therapy staff of the clinic, we went with the music therapists, Eva and Astrid, and a couple other employees at the clinic, on an outing to the gardens of a small Schloss (castle).  The gardens were beautiful, and it was nice being able to get to know Eva and Astrid and hear about what they do at the clinic, and I was excited to be able to observe music therapy sessions starting the next day.

Over the course of the next few days, I observed music therapy sessions in a closed psychiatry unit, a geriatric psychiatry unit, and in a forensics unit.  I took part in a small orchestra and chorus that Eva organizes for patients who are not in closed units.  We sang English songs such as Can't Help Falling in Love and Dream a Little Dream of Me, and also sang German schlager (or popular German songs).

Observing sessions on the closed units was intense, because we were interacting with many patients with severe diagnoses.  However, there were so many wonderful moments that happened during these music therapy sessions.  One particular moment was when a patient on a closed psychiatry unit requested to hear a Johnny Cash song.  Preston immediately jumped up and offered to play Ring of Fire on the guitar.  We sang the song, with the patients listening or singing along, and at the end we all laughed and clapped.  This was the first time that I'd really interacted with music therapy patients in Germany, and it reinforced how powerful music can be as a connection between people, especially across cultures.  It seemed like Ring of Fire was a very good song for interacting with patients, because later that day, both Preston and I taught the chords of Ring of Fire to a group of forensic patients who were learning how to play guitar.

These music therapy sessions were also especially interesting because my learning experiences in Heidelberg led me to believe that these music therapy sessions would be very different than how they actually were.  While in Heidelberg, most of our discussion about German music therapy was about using improvisation, with an emphasis on the patients creating their own music and then discussing that experience with the music therapist.

At the Viersen LVR Klinik, we saw no improvisation at all.  Eva and Astrid conducted music therapy sessions where there was mostly song-singing, with some structured instrument playing.  At first, I found this to be very odd and startling, because I had been prepared for an entirely different experience.  However, I realized after talking to them about their reasoning behind the techniques, that I had been a little too focused on the idea of improvisation being so important, that I had overlooked the focus on the patient.

Eva and Astrid mostly use song-singing for several different reasons.  Singing familiar songs is an effective way to build trust with psychiatric patients who can have difficulty having trust in anyone.  Also, patients being able to sing along, choose songs, or even just sit and listen through an entire music therapy session can be big steps in their treatment.  Because of the severity of diagnoses at this facility, having structured sessions where the patients know what to expect (and what songs they will be singing) is the best way to build the therapeutic relationship and help them reach their goals.

This was important for me to realize, because it's always a good ting to be reminded that even though as a student you might be taught to do music therapy a certain way, or that one way of doing music therapy is "better", the focus always needs to be on what is best for the patient.  This connects to my experiences in Heidelberg and the idea of reflexivity that I talked about in my last blog.  Being flexible and adjusting to the patient's needs is one of the most important tools that the music therapist has, and I felt like I observed music therapists who were extremely mindful of this and conducted music therapy sessions with effective techniques for the various situations.

From all the experience of this week, I feel like I learned a lot about German music therapy and music therapy in general.  I also learned a little about myself.  Although I felt nervous about being around patients with such severe diagnoses, I was able to get past this and have a wonderful experience in each session I observed.  I was able to connect with patients through singing English songs and learning German schlager, though playing guitar with patients,  and even at one point through being an audience to a patient freestyle rapping in German!

I'm very grateful to Eva and Astrid, who are amazing music therapists as well as amazing people.  They helped make the week I spent there enjoyable and I'm so happy I got a chance to meet them and learn from them.

Growing Pains

Over the course of this trip, I've experienced a lot of new things. Besides the obvious experiences that come with travelling to abroad for the first time, I've had the opportunity to learn new things about both music therapy and myself.

I was able to see firsthand how different music therapy can be. On this trip, we primarily discussed the differences in music therapy philosophies and processes, both between Germany and the US and between our universities within the US. Having never discussed music therapy with anyone who wasn't associated with the University of Georgia, I learned a lot. I already knew that music therapy can be a lot of things, but I'd never thought about what makes it so broad. 

On this trip, we started asking some of the hard questions. What should the focus be in a therapy session? How is the music being used? How does it benefit the client? What's the difference between music therapy, sound therapy, psychotherapy, etc? Is a humanistic approach better than a behavioral approach? Should practice inform research or vice versa? On and on, we picked apart the details of music therapy and exposed a lot of decisions that I didn't realize I was making. To be honest, it was pretty uncomfortable.

That being said, I wholeheartedly appreciate the experience. It made me realize that getting better isn't about being comfortable. Opening your mind isn't pleasant and gaining insight isn't easy. However, I've learned how to think more critically about the decisions I make for the clients I help. I have the tools to make conscious decisions about interventions, and I know to keep seeking more information, insight, education. I know that I'm capable of pushing through the growing pains to emerge a stronger, more informed version of myself.

Learning Learning Learning

If I had to think of one thing that I really learned about music therapy during this week was that there isn't a "better" music therapy technique. Before this program, I would sometimes find myself wondering if the sing-a-long's were truly music therapy since there are so many non-music therapists in the world that go and sing songs to people in need. However, after spending my week with a music therapist, I learned that all of those worries I have are kind of silly. What matters is that the music therapist is doing what is best for the client, whether that be sing-a-longs or improvisation. 

One particular experience that will stick with me was when I experienced an improvisation music therapy session for the first time. There was a woman who seemed not really in the moment and was just hitting some wooden blocks while looking out into space. However, something clicked in her and she moved to the drum kit and started pounding on it and was laughing and smiling. After the session, the music therapist told me that that moment was the very first time she had ventured off to play a new instrument, and that woman had been going to music therapy sessions for weeks now. The experience meant a lot to me because I saw right before my eyes how music was making a difference in a person's life. The music seemed to just set that person free. 

I will also say that my time in Heidelberg helped me prepare for this learning experience. Simply sitting class and learning about music therapy in Germany helped me have an idea of what to expect. For instance, we talked a lot about how many music therapists in Germany have a structure of "talk-play-talk." That is exactly what my music therapist did in Düsseldorf. Learning about this type of structure before in class helped me make more sense out of what was going on in the therapy sessions, especially since I can't understand or speak German.

Not only did I learn more about music therapy, but I learned something about myself. I learned that it's okay to meet new people. I tend to like to stick to the familiar when it comes to people, but spending time with a bunch of new people in this program helped me learn how there are so many more awesome people to get to know. I didn't truly have any idea that I was going to make the close relationships I have made on this trip.

Lastly, I would say that these learning experiences are connected by the fact that I made a decision to try something new. None of these insights would have happened to me if I had not taken that leap of faith. So, overall, I learned that if an opportunity ever comes my way, I shouldn't be afraid. I should just take it. 

Getting Lost, Good Luck, and the Kindness of Strangers from a few weeks ago.

Traveling in a new place can be an adventure. There is so much to learn. Sometimes it can be fun to get lost. While in Frankfurt during the long weekend, that is something I learned well. Public transportation can be such a fun thing to do. It can also be a challenge when you don't know the language. At times, we got on the wrong subway (that's what I'm calling them because they are underground transportation) but it made it fun to go new places and find our way back where we meant to be. Most times we got on the right direction.

People are nice and helpful. There were many times when we were lost and someone noticed and helped us get somewhere. At one point in particular we were looking at a map trying to get to a specific museum but we were not sure where to go. I nice lady stopped us and asked if we needed help. We were far away from where we needed to be but we were close to another interesting site. She informed us how to get to the museums but also told us where the opera house (where we were closer to) was. Because we were lost, we were able to see so many new things we might not have seen otherwise.

Speaking of museums, we had a great experience at a specific museum. It was called the Dialogmuseum. In this museum, you are guided by a blind person through a blind experience. Basically you are shown what it is like to be blind and what their everyday life is like. We took a 90 minute tour (in English) through different everyday situations like a park, a city street, a market, and many other areas but in complete dark. It was such a phenomenal experience to see an all new point of view. I often found myself lost during this experience and just like being lost before, the guide helped us get where we needed to be. 

Through this experience I was able to get many new perspectives and see (or experience for the 90 minutes I couldn't see) so many new things. We were able to go to four museums and see many other areas as well. Throughout I have been able to gain new perspectives and learn along the way. 

learning more every new place I go

this past week I was able to stay at a site with music therapy and see how music therapy is done in Germany. I learned so many new methods and interventions to use by watching these sessions. One significant learning experience for me was a particular improvisation activity. In the
Is activity, tehe therapist started our drawing a line on a graph. How high tehe kine went was how loud tehe people play percussion instruments. The group this was for is adults with deperession and other mood issues. Many people with these diagnosis feel like they have no control. This activity was a good one because the therapist then asked others to draw this line giving them some control over the group. As another element, he had another person come up and trace tehe line to show how fast or slow to go. The group really opened up to talk after this activity. It was amazing to see how well it worked to show them they can have some control.

I learned so much this week about myself. One big challenge I had was communication. This was in many ways. I had no internet so I could not connect to home. I also struggled with talking to others due to a language barrier. This was especially difficult when the group had a lot of talking. Luckily, music can be he bridge for that gap. Another struggle I had was being able to deal with what was going on back home. When I did get in contact with family I had bad news. It was difficult having control and being able to fix it.

These two experience are greatly connected. I noticed that many of the people in the group had trouble connecting with others sometimes just like I was. It put me in their perspectives in a way. Also, like them, I didn't feel like I had any control over my situation over this week with what was going on at home. It is interesting to think of how we are all connected and all struggle with things. This week has tought me so many things to bring back home into my own practices. I have learned so much from this experience and hope to learn more in the future.

Confidence in Communication

I have learned SO MUCH this past week. I think the most significant experience/intervention must have been music as a form of communication. After discussing this with the therapists at Langenfeld, it seems that this is what they focus on the most in their sessions. I feel as if noticing music being a form of communication was so much more obvious since I didn't speak the same language as the patients. One of the first sessions I observed was a group of depression patients. They started out the session with a discussion and then went to an improvisation activity, which I was encouraged to join. At first the improvisation was chaotic; everyone was working on feeling comfortable with their instrument and finding their own voice as well as others' voices. Then we started to get into a groove. We were jamming. It felt as if something was going right and that the group was communicating. As opposed to the chaos, the music fit together in a pattern. I actually forgot for the rest of the improvisation that I couldn't speak German. I went into the final discussion ready to listen and share, but I was hit with the the realization that I couldn't understand anyone. This was a really powerful moment. I realized how well you can communicate with music. It also gave me more faith and assurance in their method of practicing music therapy.

Not only have I learned more about music therapy, but some aspects of myself have also come to light. I just finished a solo 13 hour train ride to another country. I was absolutely horrified about navigating throughout cities by myself, but it turned out fine. At the beginning of this trip, I was terrified about being with a group of strangers in a foreign country. But it turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. Before this past week of observations, I was so nervous. I think I was afraid I would be too inexperienced and wouldn't know the right questions to ask. Plus, being apart from our wonderful group, having to travel independently, and dealing with new people who mostly speak German was scary. Thinking about it before the trip was terribly intimidating. But all of these experiences turned out amazing. That being said, I think one of the most important things I have learned about myself this week and this month is to not underestimate what I am capable of. I'm always so afraid of something going wrong that I forget to think of things going right. Sometimes things do go wrong, and even then they can result in a good experience. In the future I hope to grow this confidence and trust in myself so that I can continue learning and experiencing new things.

So how are these learning experiences related, asks Dr. Keith. It took me a while to see the connection, but I think I understand it. Communication is scary. Voicing your emotions, much less your impulsive thoughts, is hard. Sometimes it seems so much easier to keep things bottled up and pretend we're fine and dandy. In order to communicate and express these emotions you have to trust yourself and take risks. In a music therapy improvisation, you have to be willing to (1) make a note on the instrument, (2) figure out where you want to go with the music you are making, and (3) understand why you did what you did. You have to be willing to communicate, which takes a great deal of risk and confidence. But in the end, one finds that they can understand and communicate their feelings much easier after experiencing this.

I could talk all day about my experiences of this past week. There were so many things that happened that I hope to one day carry with me in my music therapy practice.

New Perspectives

This past week I had the pleasure of working with Several Dutch music therapists in Their daily routines. Many aspects of the therapy were similar and at the same time they were different. The most notable difference was how the sessions were formed. The therapist would go into the session without a structured plan, but they would read the clients and format the session for how they were feeling in that moment. This interested me because I am used to having a set plan for a session the day before it even occurs.

This week I also learned that I am able to be on my own in an unknown situation. I followed the music therapist on my own and gained a lot of knowledge through observation or asking questions. It let me see that I am more self-relient than I had thought.

These two learning experience go hand in hand Because They Both involve working in the moment. They Both require flexibility and improvisation Which I have become more and more confident with.

Frau Hill's adventure

This has been an amazing week as a wind up my study abroad. Monday we left our "home" in Heidelberg and made an exhausting trip to Düsseldorf on a series of trains, trams and buses in a torrential rain. Spent a delightful afternoon at the LVR Klinik there getting to know their Creative Arts Therapy staff (music, dance, art) . They led us through typical activities that they do with their patients suffering from depression, schizophrenia, dementia, and emotional, developmental and behavioral disorders. Music therapists from six other cities joined us (Essen, Bonn, Ratigen,Langenfeld, Bedburg-Hau, and Viersen) and afterwards our group separated to go home with each of them.

Unfortunately the music therapist I am shadowing was not able to attend, so I travelled alone to Duren on the train to meet her, about a two hour trip. Long story, but one of the few times in my life that I have felt totally alone and lost and truly homesick. Through a "series of unfortunate events" as they say, I found myself in a shabby, dirty, stinking hostel wondering why I ever came on this adventure ! 

Thankfully, I remembered the mandatory training modules I did back in January, called a fellow classmate and my professor and after just one sleepless night and anxious morning, all is well again. 

I have spent two mind-stretching days following an incredible music therapist and look forward to 1.5 more days with her. She does not speak much English, but we work hard at communicating and I am learning so much from her. She originally studied to be a teacher but changed her mind and got her master's in music therapy. She has worked at this Klinik for 28 years, so everyone knows her and is so curious about "the American student".

I have attended several team meetings (psychologist, social worker, art therapist, nurse, etc.) and assisted with group and individual sessions with adults diagnosed with depression, PTSD, phobias, and sexual abuse. Of course, everything is in German, but I have been surprised what I can pick up through body language and the little vocabulary I am learning through an app called DuoLingo that I do every night.

 My favorite so far has been a group of early dementia patients.  My music therapist played guitar and we sang German folk songs; luckily we had a book with tune and lyrics so I could follow along fairly well. The ladies were amazed that I "knew" their songs and I got lots of hugs and smiles and even some tears. They thought it hilarious when I requested Stille Nacht (Christmas song in May??) but we sang together joyously. (My teacher friend in Bridgeport taught it to me years ago in Literary Club.)

"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." 

Mark Twain

What IS Europe?

I think it's safe to say that most Americans have a preconceived idea of what Europe, broadly speaking, looks like. The typical image someone may have is of a street with old buildings or houses with antique architecture and wooden floors. The streets are small, cobblestone, and flooded with bicycles and smart cars. Most houses have small gardens in front of them, but some might just be on a street, like an apartment building.

This is at least what my idea of Europe was. Until about 3 days ago.

I've been to Europe before so I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what it looked like, and it was pretty in line with my preconceived notion from above. I went to Strasbourg in the summer of 2015 and that's what I saw. When we went to the more metropolitan areas, of course, it was much more modern. The buildings were glass and metal instead of wooden. The streets were far more busy and included trams and buses. However, it still didn't seem all that different. It was still Europe.

Heidelberg fit into this mindset as well. The streets are small, our apartment is on a street, bicycles and compact cars fill the streets. Most of the houses are made of wood and some are even in the traditional half-timber style. The side of town we live on is considerably different from the others, but they still all have that authentic, German feel. The old town part of Heidelberg is... Well... Old. It has mostly cobblestone streets, and that's where the castle and old churches are. The newer part of town where SRH Heidelberg Hochschule is located is more modern with metal and glass buildings. There are more businesses, clinics, and schools over there as well.

Based on these locations I felt like I had a pretty good idea of what Europe (again broadly speaking) looks like. But our trip to Frankfurt changed this idea.

Europe, like everywhere else on this planet, does not all look the same. London doesn't look like Venice, Venice doesn't look like Amsterdam, Amsterdam doesn't look like Heidelberg, and Heidelberg doesn't look like Frankfurt. AT ALL.

Frankfurt is a metropolitan area, comparable to Atlanta or Nashville. Knowing this, I figured that it would still have the older style buildings amidst the newer ones. There definitely were a few, such as the Dom/Romer area with St. Bartholomew's Cathedral and several other half-timbered buildings. But for whatever reason I was surprised at the infrequency of the older "European" styled buildings. There were times where we would be walking down the street and I felt like I was in America. It was strange. "I'm in Europe," I thought to myself, "I should feel as though I'm in Europe!!!!" There were these huge skyscrapers across the skyline, graffiti along the tunnels, and public transport around every corner (that's actually a lie, sometimes you have to walk a mile before you find the nearest tram stop). This was the furthest thing from what I thought I would expect from a European city.

I began to question why it was that way. Frankfurt surely had a history longer than Heidelberg. Why weren't the buildings the same? Why did I feel more European in Heidelberg? It didn't hit me until I saw a postcard in a shop window. It showed the Cathedral in pieces. The one we had just visited wasn't the one on that postcard. That's when I realized that Frankfurt had been serious damaged during World War II by bombing. Much of what was before then was no longer. The city had shed that era of turmoil and loss when they rebuilt the city to what it is now.

My mind was blown. If you had told me that a month ago when I was in America that I would have been like, "Oh, right! That makes sense. Of course different areas of Europe are different..." But for whatever reason, actually being in Frankfurt, Germany, walking along the streets, and actually SEEING the difference from Heidelberg was a totally new experience. I got to see and understand the diversity and change a country goes through due to war, growth, or just industrial developments.

It was a strange revelation that many people might never think of but one that changed my entire perception of Europe.

Wait a second... I'm in Germany!

This has kind of been my mantra on this trip. Never in a million years did I think I'd study abroad. It always seemed expensive and time consuming, and irrelevant to music therapy. I can distinctly remember the day my friends and I decided to go on this trip, so I have to periodically remind myself what I've gotten myself into.

I've needed this reminder more frequently this week, and it took until today for me to realize why-- I've gotten used to it here. After just two short weeks, I'm noticing the German text less. My reaction to German speech is faster ("Do you speak English?") and I'm picking up more common phrases (Hallo, bitte, danke). I can read the bus maps and street names, and can understand bike laws and signals. My functioning level has increased and I'm doing things I never thought I'd be able to do, like taking the train to Munich or finding my way around unfamiliar cities.

As for this trip's relevance, I'm learning so much! My favorite class this week was our percussion seminar-- the professor that taught us had so much useful insight into playing percussion, constructing rhythms, and using our bodies. It was such a welcome challenge and a much needed opportunity for nonverbal communication amongst our group. For me personally, it built onto what I learned in my percussion class last semester: there is so much history and technique behind hand drumming alone and I would love to invrsy the time to really learn it. Unfortunately that is just not possible in one semester, let alone one seminar.

It's funny how the two weeks we've been here have seemed so long, but the two weeks until we leave seem so short. I'll definitely continue to seek new experiences and relish the time with this wonderful group!

There is always more to learn

I've learned so much and so many different perspectives about music therapy this past week. Every class we had let me understand the different ways of music therapy. In our Wednesday class, we had a  psychosomatic seminar with German students. We talked about the eating disorders and German students showed the symptoms of eating disorders in class. When I discussed with my partner Emily, I didn't know how to apply music therapy activities to people with eating disorders and I had never thought about music therapy for eating disorders. But after hearing the opinions form students and the instructor, I learned many good thoughts and concepts about music therapy and eating disorders. Then German students showed us a mock music therapy session for people with eating disorders.
At first, I didn't really understand the purpose of the singing bowls activity and the interaction between music therapist and clients. But I was impressed by how the non-verbal communication works and how important the connection is. After we discussed in class, I learned a lot from the group discussion about the mock session and many concepts I hadn't thought before. I learned these different perspectives from music therapy in Germany and this provides me to think more about the definition of music therapy.

Every class we had these two weeks makes me think more about the definition and different perspectives of music therapy. There is always new challenge and new encouragement in music therapy and I can't wait to explore more about music therapy in Germany!

The Power of the Music Experience

Y'ALL. 

This past week was a big one. It was full of highs and lows, laughter and some tears, but here I am, at the end of it. And guess what? I am better because of getting through it. We will get to the good stuff but I am going to quickly run through some of the hardships. 

This may be sharing too much and I am not looking for pity or extra attention, but I am diagnosed with mental illnesses- General Anxiety Disorder and Clinical Depression. Now, those two tend to go hand in hand because they feed off each other rather well. In order to cope with this, I filled my school year with multiple responsibilities. I exhausted myself and then proceeded to fly to Germany 2 days after finals were over for this study abroad program. So to say, I hit a wall on Wednesday and I could feel it coming but I chose to ignore it. That wall will find you. You have to know when to take a breather. That day came with many frustrations as well: arriving somewhere to film but the group was nowhere near it; then attending a wonderfully informative seminar on eating disorders but leaving very self-conscious and aware of my extra weight; the day continued to be the longest academic day we have had on this trip so far; and then realizing that maybe I haven't quite done enough work for my independent study course and that I need to get on it. I got through that day though. It was hard but I did it. Then Thursday, I woke up and proceeded to try to run through this metaphorical wall. I couldn't. I barely got through class and tried to put myself out there so I could start work on my independent study. No success. I chose to come back to the apartment and go to bed. That is what I did and I could not have made a better choice. I proceeded to spend the next 6 hours or so in my bed sleeping and texting my fiance. I was having that moment when you wonder if you can get through this experience. I am supposed to be here learning and having fun. Then finally he told me to let go (I know...go ahead and sing the song from Frozen), and I realized something about myself. I don't know what I was holding onto exactly but it was like I was waiting for something to go wrong. If you look for it, something will go wrong. So finally, I did. I let it go (again. go ahead. sing.). When I opened up and got myself together, everything immediately felt better. I could look back on the time here more appreciatively and I can see gains that I have made. 

Now, here's the good stuff. Most of my education happened outside the classroom, BUT there have been some amazing discussions and experiences within classrooms as well. I have realized this week that music therapy can be so many things, depending on the situation and each individual. I think I was trying to put a specific view on it that isn't necessary. We saw an activity in the seminar on Wednesday, which involved using singing bowls placed on the clients' bodies. This bowls vibrate on a single pitch when struck. In this activity, the bowl was usually placed on the ankles, then just above the knee, and then the stomach. While this was happening, the co-therapist was playing a vibraphone in the background in a key inclusive of the pitches that rang from the singing bowls. Aside from never seeing this done before, it made me realize how multi-functional one music experience can be. I am not sure of the exact goal behind the activity, but I saw the grounding effects of this activity and its meditative-like quality. 

Going from that learning experience on Wednesday, I had a powerful and wonderful night seeing a music experience meaning different things to different people all under the same roof, and I was included in this. Every year, Heidelberg hosts an event called the Queer Festival. Now, this isn't like a pride event in the United States. It is broken up over weeks of different events and venues highlighting LGBTQ+ artists from all genres (literature, dance, music, etc.). Well, I had the exciting pleasure of attending a performance from Cakes Da Killa (google him) and an after party in the same place hosted by him. There aren't gay bars or clubs here, so this was a whole new level of exciting for me. This entire event was put on by people of the LGBTQ+ community, from the bartenders to the tech crew. It was comfortable and I didn't know a single soul there, but by the end of the night, we were all swept up in the music and the positive vibes. So much love happened. Hugs and holding hands and dancing together all happened. Now, I left still not knowing anyone's name but that didn't matter. That wasn't the point. This music urged everyone to dance, relax, feel free, let their feelings flow. We were all in a safe space, and everyone dance out feelings to the music. In some kind of way, isn't music therapy based off this idea? These people were kind and happy to share a space with their community. It was wonderful. 

Another Week in Germany

                Each day in Heidelberg has brought new insights into the city and German culture.  From visiting the castle to touring the shops to visiting small towns outside the city, I have woken up each day excited for what new Heidelberg-ian experiences we will have.  This weekend, Haley Sue and I went to Munich.  We explored Marienplatz and the other Old Town sights in the center of the city.  Munich is larger than the mountain-nestled city of Heidelberg but each is beautiful in its own way.  It was fascinating to see another side to Germany.  I love quaint Heidelberg but I appreciated seeing the unique elements of another city that was just a few hours away.  I feel like our trip to Munich gave me a slightly larger view of Germany, its people, and its culture.

                Another learning experience has been hearing from the SRH students and professors about their approaches to and perspectives on music therapy.  We observed a mock session that two SRH music therapy students lead earlier this week.  It was enlightening to observe the similarities and differences between this session versus the sessions I have observed and lead back in the U.S.  In the session, the therapists used singing bowls and an improvisation activity with three students role-acting as clients with eating disorders.  The vibrations from the singing bowls seemed to be a way for the clients to increase the awareness of their body.  After, the improvisation activity seemed to be a way to increase self-expression, increase confidence, and increase receptivity.  The structure of the session was different from what I have experienced before.  However, the experience was very enlightening and I will definitely be referring back to my notes from the session when I get back to Georgia.

What is Health?

What is Health? It seemed like such an easy thing to define, but what is it? The dictionary defines it as "the condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit; especially: freedom from physical disease or pain... The general condition of the body." This week we got into a detailed discussion on health. It made me really think about it. 

The conclusion we came up with is that is is so difficult to define health. There are so many factors involved. It is all based on the person.  Some factors include how they were raised, their culture, the way they think, their religious practices, etc. Health can mean something different based on the person trying to define it. 

An example we really discussed in detail was with people diagnosed with eating disorders. These disorders are anerxia, binge eating, and bulimia. What the therapist may define as health for them is way different from what they will think. The therapist may define health as positive body image, self acceptance, appropriate BMI, and apprpritate eating habits. However, the person withy tehe eating disorder may have a distorted view of health. If they are not self aware of their disorder they may see healthy as getting the body image they want, control, perfection, and some other unattainable and unrealistic goals. It got me thinking about people's personal views of health as opposed to an overall definition. 

Some other examples of views of health comes in looking at cultures. In some cultures, a bigger weight off size may be healthier than what another culture thinks. In many cultures, the family is more important than the individual so people are greatly influenced in their beliefs by the family. It is so interesting to think about health in so many perspectives.

This has taught me another important aspect to think about when practicing music therapy in tehe future. I need to be aware of the health beliefs of different cultures and different people. Being more aware of this could help me help them. 

SO MUCH LEARNING.

It's hard to sum up what I've learned this past week in a blog post. It's hard to even pinpoint one thing among the myriad of information and new experiences that have been thrown at me this week. But I will try my best.

I've learned to go exploring. Even if you don't have a specific goal or destination in mind at first, you'll find one. On Friday Connor, Katie, and I went exploring on the Philosopher's Walk just to see where it would take us. We ended up finding this path up the mountain and following these signs. We didn't know where it would take us, but it was exciting not knowing what we would see at the end of our journey. During the hike up the mountain, our curiosity kept building until we finally got to the top. We found a HUGE well, tower ruins and the remains of castle, a Nazi amphitheater, and an old monastery. It was such a rewarding experience.

I've also learned a TON about music therapy on this trip. Since I'm not pursuing a music therapy degree at the moment, this experience has been SO informative. I've tried to soak up as much information as possible every chance I get. I keep taking notes on everything I learn and everything people tell me so I won't forget anything.

One of my favorite discussions this week was during Friday's class. We were split into groups and we had to define health from the viewpoint of the therapist and the client. We started really analyzing what it means to be healthy; does it have to do with physical health, mental health, emotional health, social health...etc.? I've never really thought how being healthy is so incredibly subjective. It depends on what you view as healthy and the context you have around the word. This past semester I took a course called Introduction to Mental Health as a Profession, and we discussed a lot of the fine tuned details of being therapists, including health. However, we never talked in depth about the different definitions of health. We defined it, and mentioned the importance of considering all the facets of health, but we didn't talk about it from the view of the client vs. the view of the therapist.

Another interesting learning experience was watching the mock music therapy session on Wednesday. I've only seen one music therapy session so far in my education, so it was really exciting and interesting seeing one performed. Thanks to contributions from our group, I noticed the differences in the way they conducted the session from the way an "American" music therapy session would have gone. It was helpful to watch them perform and gave me a lot of insight into this profession. Before this trip I don't think I knew there were so many variables and differences in how to conduct a music therapy session. Now I see the depth of this field and it makes me so excited to study it in the future

Learning Experience

This past week had many adventures did Brought fun and fastinating stories. One search experience was when i attended a short seminar percussion. During this seminar, a new way of approaching how you use your body percussion methods such as tapping a foot or patting a knee. These techniques were used to "activate" the four appendages that are used when playing percussive instruments, your arms and legs. We patted/tapped a steady beat on ourselves while alternating which appendage and how many appendages were being used. We gradually added more timbers in that would emphasize dufferent strong and weak beats. Using this technique of starting from the very basic form and building up one level at a time gave me a new way of practicing percussion instruments and a new way of teaching percussion instruments.

The possibilities for music therapy seem endless!

This week I learned something from everything I experienced in the music therapy classes. Overall, this week has taught me to view music therapy in a new way.

The discussions provided different perspectives of music therapy, and different ways to break down what we do, such as the definition, the sessions, the levels of experience, and our goals as music therapists. Breaking down the definition day to day helps me better structure my definition, and be prepared for the different ways to explain music therapy to others. Viewing a music therapy session through the lens of levels of experience helps me analyze all the contributions to a musical experience, what is or is not musical.

In the classes with the German students and professors, I learned new ideas for future sessions, such as using the singing bowl and thinking about the structure of a music therapy session in a new way. In the mock sessions, I appreciated the use of a singing bowl to feel the vibrations of the instrument. It was a very creative activity. Although we do not know the exact intentions of the therapy students, there were many possibilities that would benefit this population. The singing bowl activity seemed to also prepare the clients musically for the second activity, which I thought was very well planned out. I appreciate the order of the music therapy sessions here and being aware of this as a possibility could benefit populations I work with in the future. I plan on trying it out when I get home. In the percussion class, I learned new possibilities for future activities with clients using only rhythms. This exact activity could be used for different clients with slight modification. I also worked on complex rhythms, which I hardly ever do, but helps me improve as a musician.

I am sure there are many more things that I learned, but it is hard to think of all of it. It was a great week and I am looking forward to these last two weeks.

Curious and inspired.

This week, I have been feeling a large dosage of inspiration. Being in Germany, I have the urge to practice my musician skills much more when compared to being back home in Miami.

I'm not sure if it's because German music therapy students and how often they practice or if the realization that I am in the same country where the majority of my favorite composers were born, studied, and composed their works.

I have also been considering possibly doing my Master's here in Germany. This thought has been in my head since observing the Master's students mock session on eating disorders on Wednesday. I was incredibly interested on how a session is conducted and questions were formed on how they are organized and planned.

Coming from an NMT background (Neurologic Music Therapy) there isn’t much exposure to the psychotherapy approach. Of course we take the generic Abnormal Psychology class, Music in Psychotherapy, and experiences in practicum.

Based on this observation on the mock session, there is speculation that German music therapy has a psychodynamic approach, working with the mental health population. However, I feel that it resembles my school, where you are taught one method of music therapy and apply it with any population you encounter.

This leads me to wonder if it’s possible to combine different “School’s of Thoughts” in music therapy so the client can work with a variety of clients with different approaches and educational background.

I am interested on hearing the German music therapy students on Tuesday for their view on music therapy, how they plan their sessions, and what brought them to this interesting field.  

When Alone Is Not Always Lonely

So like Casey in her latest post, I realized that I did not introduce myself last time.  My name is Jillian Wallace and I will be going into my senior year at Baldwin Wallace University in Berea, Ohio.  I play the saxophone and love reading, writing, and listening to music of all genres and decades. This is my fifth time traveling to Germany (depending on how you count being born here). Each time I have been over seas, I have learned several concepts and ideas. Being that this is the first time I am traveling for academics, this is a unique expirence compared to previous travels.

In class this past week, we talked about how a music therapist helps the client. There are many ways that a music therapist helps the client(s). One thing that we covered when talking about this concept was on how the therapist needs to help themselves before being able to help their client(s) (meaning self care). Although this seems like common sense, it is easy to overlook it even when it is right in your face. I always knew that this was a true statement but I did not really think about it until today.

It is a known fact to my friends that I like to be busy and be on the go.  It is also a fact that although I enjoy being busy, I also am a person who needs alone time in order to recharge and de-stress.  While on this trip, I have (as well as everyone else) been constantly doing something whether it be class, hiking or going on group trips to explore Heidleberg and its' neighboring towns. There has been a lot of opportunities to keep busy but not many for personal time especially when you are sharing an apartment with three to four other individuals.  Since arriving to Heidleberg, I had zero alone time minus when I would be in the bathroom.  I did not realize how that was effecting me until today. After doing some shopping with friends, we arrived at the apartments.  Nearly everyone was planning on going on a hike almost as soon as we arrived at the apartments. Normally I would have wanted to join because I hate missing group outings and also because the scenery is gorgeous here.  Surprisingly, I declined; my feet were hurting and I just wanted to sit down for a few minutes.  After everyone left, I sat at the table in my room and just went on my iPad and started watching some YouTube videos. I also took time to call my boyfriend who I have not been able to talk to that much since arriving.  Before I knew it, it had already been a little over 4 hours before everyone returned form the hike. I noticed that I was mentally in a better place than prior.  It was amazing with what just a few hours of solitude could do to my well being.

This can be translated back to music therapy.  As mentioned in class, self care is crucial.  If you are not in a good place, you can not give your client what they need from you to help them. I am glad I realized this now because life is only going to get busier. I was fortunate to realize this at a time where my main concern is one class for a few weeks in the summer.   In the future when I am working, I am going to have several of priorities such as paying bills, buying groceries, being married and having children and the stress and responsibilities that all brings as well as having and working with clients.  Self care is going to be extremely important during that time so I and any other music therapist can help clients improve their quality of life which is what we are meant to do.

The big take away from all of this is that although there will be times where you want to go on that group hike or you really want to spend an extra 2 hours studying for a test, you need to give yourself some time for self care whether that's coloring, going on a run, or simply laying down and listening to your favorite song on repeat. You will be so much happier and you will thank yourself later.