Confidence in Communication

I have learned SO MUCH this past week. I think the most significant experience/intervention must have been music as a form of communication. After discussing this with the therapists at Langenfeld, it seems that this is what they focus on the most in their sessions. I feel as if noticing music being a form of communication was so much more obvious since I didn't speak the same language as the patients. One of the first sessions I observed was a group of depression patients. They started out the session with a discussion and then went to an improvisation activity, which I was encouraged to join. At first the improvisation was chaotic; everyone was working on feeling comfortable with their instrument and finding their own voice as well as others' voices. Then we started to get into a groove. We were jamming. It felt as if something was going right and that the group was communicating. As opposed to the chaos, the music fit together in a pattern. I actually forgot for the rest of the improvisation that I couldn't speak German. I went into the final discussion ready to listen and share, but I was hit with the the realization that I couldn't understand anyone. This was a really powerful moment. I realized how well you can communicate with music. It also gave me more faith and assurance in their method of practicing music therapy.

Not only have I learned more about music therapy, but some aspects of myself have also come to light. I just finished a solo 13 hour train ride to another country. I was absolutely horrified about navigating throughout cities by myself, but it turned out fine. At the beginning of this trip, I was terrified about being with a group of strangers in a foreign country. But it turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. Before this past week of observations, I was so nervous. I think I was afraid I would be too inexperienced and wouldn't know the right questions to ask. Plus, being apart from our wonderful group, having to travel independently, and dealing with new people who mostly speak German was scary. Thinking about it before the trip was terribly intimidating. But all of these experiences turned out amazing. That being said, I think one of the most important things I have learned about myself this week and this month is to not underestimate what I am capable of. I'm always so afraid of something going wrong that I forget to think of things going right. Sometimes things do go wrong, and even then they can result in a good experience. In the future I hope to grow this confidence and trust in myself so that I can continue learning and experiencing new things.

So how are these learning experiences related, asks Dr. Keith. It took me a while to see the connection, but I think I understand it. Communication is scary. Voicing your emotions, much less your impulsive thoughts, is hard. Sometimes it seems so much easier to keep things bottled up and pretend we're fine and dandy. In order to communicate and express these emotions you have to trust yourself and take risks. In a music therapy improvisation, you have to be willing to (1) make a note on the instrument, (2) figure out where you want to go with the music you are making, and (3) understand why you did what you did. You have to be willing to communicate, which takes a great deal of risk and confidence. But in the end, one finds that they can understand and communicate their feelings much easier after experiencing this.

I could talk all day about my experiences of this past week. There were so many things that happened that I hope to one day carry with me in my music therapy practice.